Using the stairs instead of the escalator

I was pleased yesterday to discover the stairs at the new John Lewis in Cambridge (had them all to myself and was not blocked by those bizarre shoppers who have so much time to waste that they can afford to use it by drifting up and down escalators instead of walking). However, the shop completely fails to put the floor numbers or any store guides on the stairs, so you've no idea where you are or what you'll find there.
Why don't we all go up and down the stairs? I'm certainly going to make a policy of it from now on.
I thought, while we're on this theme, you would find this amusing.

Simple devices and inventions with negative commercial potential II: disposable gaiters for cyclists

The problem: bicycles with derailleur gear sets don't have proper chain guards. It's easy to get your summer trousers filthy, or your beautiful new pale coloured suede boots. A well-oiled chain and smart leg-wear don't mix easily.

The solution: Tear off the leg of an old worn out pair of pyjamas, the leg end of a worn out pair of knee-high socks, the sleeve of an old shirt or sweater, or just any piece of discarded cloth garment or sheet. Pull it on over the lower leg end of your trousers/boots, or, if it is not a tube, wrap it round the leg and tie the corners together on the outer side at top and bottom. If it's too loose, tie it up with a spare shoe lace or an elastic band.
When you get to your destination, slip your leg(s) out of the gaiter(s) and roll the gaiters up in your pocket or bag. The sleeves of a silk shirt are particularly small and light weight for this purpose.
Now you're instantly smart and presentable... When the party's over, you pull the things on again before riding home (make sure they're not inside out!).
When the gaiters get too dirty, throw them away and find a new pair.

Simple devices and inventions with negative commercial impact I: No-bracket bike lights.

As Christmas approaches, the shops are full of gadgets that you imagine, just for a moment, might be useful until you think about why they can't possibly do anything you couldn't do better yourself. And meanwhile the Universities are being pressed to discover things that have some commercial potential, so that they can prove that having great brains at work is worth the money.
What about the marvellously simple invention that costs nothing at all, and saves you having to buy some gadget or equipment or tool that costs a lot? Something for free that does the job just as well or better? Is that worth inventing? I find myself doing so all the time.

Here's one from this week. "No-bracket bike lights".
The problem: you have more than one bicycle. One of your bikes has battery lights that clip onto brackets fixed to the cycle. Now you need to ride the other bike which has no brackets for the lights (because the lights came with just one set of brackets), and no lighting set of its own.
The solution: (1) clip the back light to your reflective belt, back pocket of your rucksack or back pocket; (2) find one of the red rubber bands that the postman drops. Fold it double and wrap it round the handlebars or steering column of the bike in such a way that there are two loops, one on either side of the bar. Rest the front light on the handlebar or against the column, and pop the two loops over the front and back end of the sausage-shaped bike light. Adjust the tension of the loops by moving parts of the band from front to back or the reverse, until your lamp is pointing roughly in the right direction. Hey presto: hands-free lighting.

Mod cons 4: DAB digital radio

This is a very dangerous con, which urgently needs fighting. See here

Mod cons 3: hair conditioner

Here's another thing the marketing people persuade us to buy: hair conditioner, or all-in-one shampoo with the conditioner in.

Conditioner is a kind of sticky stuff that adheres to the hair and doesn't wash out when you rinse it. It adds bulk to the hair, because it's a kind of gunk, and because it attracts or retains moisture it makes the hair less prone to frizz and a little bit glossy. Unfortunately as well as attracting moisture, it attracts dirt and smoke. And because it forms a film over the hair it prevents the natural conditioning oils that the head produces from travelling along the hair properly, so you end up with very greasy bits near the head.

So the result is that you have dirty hair with greasy tops, and so you have to wash your hair after a day or two. And because you keep washing the natural oils away the hair gets thin and dry and fragile. So you have to put conditioner on it to make it look at all decent. But then it gets greasy and dirty and full of gunk. So you have to wash it. And so on.

This is good business for the manufacturers of stuff for washing your hair and rectifying problem hair, because you always have problem hair and it gets to be more of a problem the more you use their gunk.

Once you've got into this cycle it's very difficult to break out of it. Which is doubtless how the people who market the products like it to be.

It's much better never to get into it. It's a mod con, and once your conned into using it, you'll find it hard to stop. Without it, it's easy to look good by washing your hair just once a week—probably less if you don't live in a city— no conditioner, no fancy shampoo, nothing to paste on afterwards, just the natural gloss of your own hair oils.

What does it mean to be a green professor?

This week in the Times Higher there is a feature on the carbon footprint of Universities.

A long way down that article there is an interview with David Sedley (professor of ancient philosophy in Cambridge) who makes some pertinent points about the pressures on academics to travel.

In order to achieve promotion, for instance, one needs to show that one has a significant international reputation and that one is in demand as a speaker all over the world, and even if you're not looking for promotion this is what gives you high status both in your own eyes (it's nice to feel people have noticed that your ideas are worth hearing, and that they want to have you come and speak) and in the eyes of others when they judge your achievements, assess your grant applications, consider who are the stars in your university, choose who to feature as exciting globetrotters in their newsletters about the university's research successes, and so on. Besides, meeting and talking to other academics is important for generating and sharing ideas, so this is how we derive our intellectual stimulation—and that's especially so if you're the only one working in a certain specialist area in your own place. And universities tend to make you use flights for your overseas visits rather than alternative methods of travel, by providing only a small annual research and travel allowance, and by approving expenses claims only for travel by what appears to be the cheapest means. Indeed, I wonder if it would be possible to get a conference funded by the research councils and other funding bodies if one asked for the costs of travel by train and ship? I doubt it.

I have expanded a little here on the points that made it into the article about David Sedley, who has a very commendable policy of taking no more than one return flight per year and using the train for any other travel he agrees to undertake.

Well, the point is well made and Sedley is probably right when he says that most academics are still living the unexamined life in this respect, and that they regard his conduct as a little eccentric. Still, when he says (early on in the reported interview) that he's aware of few other academics who are trying to alter their style of travel, I thought it would have been nice if he'd mentioned this blog, because there is at least one other (and he remembered that enough to send me a message on Thursday to say he was being featured that day...). In the competition for green credentials, I may not be doing quite as well (I ended up with two sets of return flights to Europe this calendar year) but I did manage to avoid travelling to the USA altogether for the whole of the Bush era.

Besides, you should also bear in mind that Sedley already comfortably has his position at the very top of the academic field that we work in, and in a university that has an unusually large number of others in his field. His need for travel to establish his credentials as a major player in the field is not so great as it is for those of us who are still pleased, and even flattered, to be included in distinguished research meetings.

And for those who are really just starting out on an academic career (not that this applies to me but I'm thinking of those at the junior end, still looking to make a name) there'll also be the difficulty of finding the money to take the train, if as yet they have no permanent job and no secure salary, and are trying to find money for a house and to support a young family.

So we need to change the rules a bit, not just by asking academics to take the train at some personal cost in their reputation and status, but by slowing the pressure of academic life (we need to be able to find the time to add two nights on the train each way; so international meetings can't be held during teaching terms for a start), by having fewer and longer academic meetings (so that the extra time travelling is not out of proportion to the time once you get there), by funding the whole cost of the travel taking environmental cost into account, by requesting funding council grants that cover proper travel not air fares, and by providing adequate travel grants and child-care grants to assist early career academics to make the proper choices about their time and travel.

Comments welcome from other academics who think they deserve a place in this competition for the Green Professor.

A list of my bicycles again

It's a while since the series of posts in which I described my collection of bicycles, and things have moved on since then, so I think I should do an update.

I now have three bicycles in Cambridge and two in Norwich. In addition there is "Chris's bike" which is a man's bike, so I don't count that as mine.

Among these five (or six) remaining bikes is, of course, horrid pink bike. I thought for a bit that I had found someone who would like to use it, but it's come back to haunt me again. It's in Norwich, and it's not locked, and I'm waiting to see if it will ever find someone who loves it enough to take it.

Also in Norwich is a new blue bicycle, with a fine new basket and carrier and bell. This is a replacement for the green bike ("New Norwich Bike") which, in my earlier posts on this topic, I was just trying to take to Norwich. That New Norwich Bike is now no more, or rather it was taken by someone when I'd parked it at Earlham Road Shops, so I have it no more.

I've also lost the horrid black mountain bike, which is sad because it had a nice dynamo and two very fine new tyres. I took it to the bike man at UEA and asked him if he would buy it from me. He said I'd get more money if I advertised it, which was doubtless true—or would have been if I'd got that far— but I could hardly be bothered. But I did take it away and lock it up outside the Arts Building. Never saw it again: couldn't find it a week later.

So I've lost two bikes in Norwich and I'm trying hard to lose a third.

In Cambridge, I reclaimed the ten speed purple pioneer from Christian, thinking I would take it to Oxford and then to Norwich (to replace the one I'd lost at Earlham Rd Shops). But it was too uncomfortable to ride, so I traded it in for the new blue one.

In Cambridge I also have a very nice old fashioned green bike, three speed, with full chain case and rod brakes. Excellent: I bought it second hand from Kingsway Cycles a while back. Also my mother's bike (described previously) and spiffy bike (ditto). I don't really need three, but the one to lose would be my mother's and I don't think I can just discard that for sentimental reasons. Perhaps I should look for someone to borrow it, though at present it's the one to ride to the station on days when I have to go to Norwich with a brief case. Perhaps I do need it after all...